Now these times are a tryin’
Thanks to a brand new pandemic
The threat it is authentic
For the immunocompromised
It’s coming for your gran too
but there is something we can do
To help see this trouble through
And keep everyone alive

You gotta stay home and wash your hands
Don’t sneeze on your gran
Don’t make a stupid mask
Out of your girlfriend’s favourite bra
We don’t need to panic
There’s a way we can combat it
Do as Jacinda commands
Stay home and wash your hands

Now it’s okay to be afraid
It’s fine to recognise the danger
But don’t hoard toilet paper
Like it’s goin’ outta style
It sure feels apocalyptic
But be a little optimistic
You just got one ass to shit with
So buy in another aisle

You gotta stay home and wash your hands
Don’t sneeze on your gran
Don’t start a stupid fight
Over the last big bag of rice
We don’t need to panic
We’re on the earth not the Titanic
Take off your tin foil hats
Stay home and wash your hands.








I know you miss your friends
But we have to take precautions
Even if you ain’t coughin’
You still might be sick
Let’s pretend we’re all infected
And keep everyone protected
Stay at home don’t spread it
Don’t be a selfish prick

You gotta stay home and wash your hands
Don’t sneeze on your gran
If you do and she dies
She’s gonna haunt your ass for life
We don’t need to panic
But you can’t take your health for granted
Get your head out of the sand
Stay home and wash your hands

Now the shit has hit the fan
It will get worse before it betters
But we’ll brave this storm together
As united humankind
And when the virus is defeated
The sun will shine out the clearer
But until then we need to keep this song in mind...

Stay home and wash your hands
Call your family and friends
Do what Jacinda says and
we’ll survive